Rhythm and Sex

Having done double pole… This is impressive

Letter #13
Sex to the Music is Art in Motion

If you are putting together a playlist of great sex music… I put these in my faves. I also have some tips and tricks for using the list that I think you will enjoy.


Prince has never made a song/track that wasn’t, at it’s very core, Music for the sexually inclined. He is my favorite artist.


Ginuwine made a timeless song called Pony. It was almost always my opener at an event. I think you will find Channing Tatum’s Magic Mike movie version quite engaging. The original is a great wake-up next to your partner song and fun before coffee if you change the lyrics “if you’re horny” to “good morning”.

If I was opening a swingers event, or doing a public education session, or perhaps something a little darker at a private venue, I had fun with my choice of sex songs. Prince or Ginuwine was the opener. Car Wash (Rose Royce) or either The Brothers Johnson or the remix with Quincy Jones, Ray Charles and Chaka Kahn’s I’ll Be Good To You was usually my closer. (When I sang that song to myself I was singing those words to my box.)

Madonna (in the later years), Sinead O’Connor (in the earlier years) and Sade also made some wonderful timeless melodies.
Thank you to Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders…Brass In Pocket with confidence is a killer.


More current and upbeat, Bruno Mars has Uptown Funk.


George Clinton and any of his bands, make music to sex by. If you haven’t worked up a sweat by the end of Flashlight by Parliament, something is very wrong.


The one constant in all of this is to have rhythm.


Staying with the beat allows you and your partner the benefit of proper timing.


It is also helpful to learn this trick if you and your partner don’t always have the same tune playing in your heads at the same time.
He zigs when you zag and things get bent. Ouch!


4/4 time is always the easiest at roughly 120 bpm for smooth sex.


You can Missy Elliott Work It at speed, half speed, quarter-time or double time without injury.


Syncopated rhythms require a bit more experience as do poorly mixed house or trance music.
If you are on the beat… and tempo is abruptly changed… eeeew!


Music is phenomenal for foreplay, the act itself and memories.
I actually remember great sexual experiences (and smile) when I hear certain songs.


Oh, did you think I was talking about songs to just go up and down with? Maybe a list of mood music top tens? Nah… that’s beginner stuff. And here is where the concept of allowing the music to take control becomes more than a euphemism.


The music tells you whether to gently run your fingers from the left hip up the lat to the armpit and back down, smack a butt cheek or lick an ear.

I’m sure you have gotten enriched with one to four hours of Classical music on a daily basis, just like I did in my formative years… so lets put that Vivaldi, Rachmaninoff, Bach, Chopin, Brahms, Handel, Schubert, Strauss and your other favorite classical masters to good physical use.


Doing it to Beethoven is as much fun as to Hank Williams.
Beethoven is better on a bed or soft surface while Hank is better in a swing. Just my thoughts.

Your body is the symphony. Every instrument a specific body part.


Try sex to an entire Mozart symphony. Start to finish. Stay with the music… you will be surprised at how much of a workout this will create.

Here’s the trick to success…

Use your fingers on the left hand when you hear the piccolo, the right foot with the oboe. Hips move to the violin strings, rib cage matches the French horn… you get the point. Match a single body part for each instrument. When their tune plays… your parts move to the notes.


The act of moving up and down during independent body part additions is conducted by the beat. Crescendo… bigger movements.
Change tempo…change position.


I know you’ve got rhythm… you got my DNA in there somewhere… find your flow… get your groove on.

When you master that… you are becoming a master.


I think my personal roots, grounded in R&B and gospel, provide for those slow, sultry, energy connections more than punk or head banging 80s rock but a proficient, well-rounded, sex addict learns to be able to match any beat.


Clubbing was a big thing in my day. I loved to go dance. Way back when, I could be found in a suspended cage above the dance floor in my 6” stiletto heels with an equally scantily clad male stripper behind me. The early precursor to the chicks with fuzzy boots and glow sticks on the wood podiums today at raves. I loved getting paid to slither with another to the beat above an audience.


Baptists are correct…Dancing is sex on your feet.

A great dance partner is going to be great in bed.
If they can parkour to the rhythm… it’s a bonus!

Some transitions can be tricky if your partner doesn’t have your flexibility.


Once you learn how to move, you should be able to travel in-Congress (coupled) from inside the door, through the den, across all surfaces in the kitchen, up the stairs, into the bedroom and into the tub without separating or missing a stroked beat.


Sex, at least for me and hopefully for you, will involve all the senses and all of your body parts during all of the experience. “All in” isn’t just a saying.


Go to the piano bench and pull out a few sheets of music. Work with your classical favorites… you will stay busy for awhile.


While I talked about this as a two person activity… at your age… a glass toy with a dollop of coconut oil and a few hours of internal crunches/kegel exercises with external body manipulation to Tchaikovsky should provide a world of stimulation possibilities.


Keep the core strong.
I couldn’t help but giggle after proofreading this. You will know why, once you master this art. Being able to independently move body parts to the rhythm of a classical symphony with a partner who can do the same is about as common as the two pole dancers at the start of this post.

Enjoy my music selections and as always… Love you,

C. Change

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coolchange2021

If I'd known these things when I was younger... Oh... the different roads I might have traveled. Its never too late to ensure a better future for someone else when good knowledge is passed around.

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