From Letters to Jamison (the book)
Why am I writing you these letters with this crazy “TMI stuff”, that in reality, should not be on your radar or even of interest to you at this age?
Because I know the first time you are confronted with one of these situations and you don’t have enough facts to respond appropriately… It is probably not going to end well.
You’ve probably heard the following euphemisms… Do you know their meaning?
Drinking the kool-aid… Taking in a bunch of bs and sucking it down without question.
A puppet never hates his strings… The one being yanked or lied to… likes it.
Being marionetted… A puppet on a string, being controlled.
You can’t bullshit a bull shitter… An educated individual is not easily fooled.
Sex really isn’t a bad thing. I like to add these caveats …if its done well and for the right purpose.
During world war 2, unmarried, teenage girls “had a baby for Hitler” and at the time, in that country… That was the right thing to do.
Obviously, I never had children so the whole “get married and have a baby” thing has never been a concept that rang true for me.
I want to delve a little bit into sex and religion before I go into a whole bunch of other stuff that I think will make your sex life better for the long term.
The religion part is important because it goes back to the spiritual enlightenment aspect… The third part of of what sex entails.
If you are missing the spiritual component, you are missing out on at least one-third of sex and 100% of the reason for doing it in the first place.
In 1800s America, school math classes were taught using the Bible. Reading was also done using the Bible. I don’t know if you read it yet… But there is a lot of fascinating sex stuff in there.
Think about the progenesis of our species… Two people made all of us… I’m guessing that in order to achieve this, people had sex with their own family members.
(Royal blood is the same concept, whether an Egyptian Pharaoh or English Blue blood.)
8 individuals supposedly survived the Great Flood… The flood story of Noah’s ark.
Again… Sex with family members seems the obvious method even if our society (and in my opinion rightfully so), cringes at the thought. The Bible clearly states that one of Noah’s sons had sex with Noah’s wife and Noah hated that son.
God even called a child of one king, “An Abomination” and told the parents to kill it. They didn’t. Bad things happened.
Needless to say… These people who had sex with their family members are also the ones that had the closest ties to God and direct communication with him.
Talk about shaking up the moral religious puritans… If you “high and mighty men and women of the cloth” are going to beat the Bible, then please be honest about what is in there… all of it, not just the few sentences taken out of context with which you high-horse. (Yep, you won’t find me in any Sunday preacher’s church… I’m not much for receiving the mark of the beast… Saturday is Sabbath… not Sunday. God gives the mark… it is not a human made microchip or bar code.)
The kings of old had female sex slaves… Called concubines.
Concubines were taught sexual skills to please their partners.
(The Kama Sutra was written for men by men and women were taught by women… Makes one wonder when society fell so hard mom’s quit passing the good stuff down to their daughters and father’s quit educating their sons…. Hmm.)
Some of our most famous biblical kings had many wives… not just on or two but hundreds or thousands. Some of these men had more children than any woman can bear in a lifetime.
We know it was acceptable for Sarah to send her maid in to have sex with her husband, thus creating the father of the Islamic faith.
King Solomon got in trouble because he had a wife who convinced him to put an idol in God’s holy place. Seriously, that must have been really good pussy. Think about that for a minute… Choosing pussy over (ahem) God?
The songs of Solomon are all about love. He had over 1,000 wives and concubines.
Think about this for a minute… if he had to knock up over a thousand women… probably more than once to get the job done… King Solomon was a pretty busy boy.
King David, of David and Goliath fame, fell in love with an army commander’s wife and when David could not have the wife… He sent the husband into battle to be killed so he could have the now widowed woman. Never mind that David already had 6 other wives in the castle.
Esther was the “King’s favorite.”
It is said that she had “special skills.”
An astute individual would recognize this as “sexual prowess” that separated her from the rest of his female companions.
Lot, who was considered the only upright “Man of God” in Sodom and Gomorrah, threw his virgin daughter out the front door to be raped, beaten and killed in order to protect the two angels who appeared at his door. The angels did stop her from imminent death by angry mob; however, Lot’s behavior did not tarnish his reputation with God. We know that Lot was the only person saved when hell-fire destroyed the cities. Excuse me, but a father who throws his virgin daughter out the front door to be gang raped, beaten and killed by an angry mob… is the best most god right person worthy of saving??? Apparently so.
What, then, does God consider appropriate behavior… Because I never heard anyone in modern times say that being this type of parent would get you into heaven.
Considering what your life is like today… Isn’t it great to have what you do?
Personally, I am a much bigger fan of a matriarch dominant society (like ancient, ancient Egypt had… two brothers vying for the affection of one sister) than the patriarchal society we currently live in.
Reading between the lines of the Bible… Women who were sex goddesses managed to keep their heads and places of power.
Whether an honest statement or not, I have read multiple accounts, started hundreds of years after Jesus’ death, stating his wife, Mary, was a prostitute when he met her. While not attributed as one of the twelve disciples in modern society, the gnostic texts do not hide the fact that she received more enlightenment and was favored above the male disciples. It must have worked well in her favor as she was at the crucifixion and was the first to see him alive after the tomb. Can you imagine wanting to have sex with anyone after knowing that guy? Well, once you know the spiritual aspect to sex… People who don’t have the spiritual awakening will be so obvious, it will be as if they wore a big flashing sign that says “I’m not worth your time.”
Why do bad things happen to people? The first few paragraphs of the Book of Job clearly state that this is all a game to God. He allows bad things to happen to people to see how they will respond. If they manage to pass all the tests… Then they are restored to better.
It goes on and on so please read these stories and learn from them.
I am not advocating child rape, molestation, sex with family members, multiple wives or a whole lot of other things that you will find when you read the pages but I am merely pointing out that what American society and the Christian right preach about good moral values, sex and procreation are a bit askew from what is written in the old testament.
Which is what brings me to the point of this letter… Love.
By now, you should seriously be wondering what Love really means.
I don’t know what your preacher tells you but…
IF Your preacher hasn’t been telling you the whole story about all these other things… Guess what…
Sex versus Love… They are NOT the Same.
Sex versus Love… They are NOT the Same!
Do you remember back in the very first letter when I said “teenage sex was like riding a tricycle versus love being like a Ferrari?”
If your skill set only allows you to ride a tricycle there is absolutely no way that you would be able to operate a Ferrari correctly without the necessary skills.
People talk about falling in love.
My experiences have been Unmistakable.
LOVE… love … as in the type that some fairy tales are talking about, true love, love at first sight, call it what you will… is like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat.
There is no possible way anyone could mistake this feeling… if they have had the emotional connection.
When people say “I think I’m in love” or “oh, maybe that is love”… It is not the true love I am talking about.
This can’t be explained. It can only be experienced.
It isn’t experienced by many.
That is because one must open their heart and be vulnerable in order to receive it.
There is such a thing as Love at first sight.
I have experienced it… More than once.
It will SHRED the fabric of what you think you know about yourself.
It is MORE than worth the experience. Jump into the deep end with both feet and without hesitation!!!
New Testament wise… This “hit-in-the-head-with-a-baseball-bat-type-of-love” that changes your energy chakras and makes the world a different place… is the kind of Love that Jesus was talking about when he said, “Love one another as I have loved you.”
It is deep.
I will go so far as to say that being a true Christian means loving him back the same way he loves you. Not real surprising why the gnostic texts that are attributed to Jesus and quotes from him in the New Testament say very few will enter into his fathers house. (Narrow gate reference, Being a little child, etc.)
Just like death is part of life, a person will get hurt falling in love. There is no way around it. I think that is why most people never dive that deep.
If you want to have the type of orgasms that leave a 6′ (foot) diameter puddle on the floor, a couch that drips for days or a ruined mattress… Regular, basal, hollow, angry, evil, violent, shallow, or dinner plate deep type sex is not going to get it done. You will have to accept that real true love, being vulnerable and getting hurt is the only way to achieve this type of high and converse low when it ends.
Instead of having full and complete relationships with another adult to have a whole relationship and mind-blowing orgasms, instead people choose to have children.
In my opinion, people have children so they will know what unconditional love feels like. Even if that unconditional love only lasts a few months.
You are more than capable of having this unconditional loving experience in an adult relationship if you are willing. Adult relationship means adult… Not teenage.
I strongly suggest being available to fall deeply and passionately in-love with a suitable partner. No matter what extreme sport or activity I have engaged in, real LOVE is the only reason to come to this planet.
Without experiencing it… You will miss out on the best that life has to offer.
I know lots of people who do not want to know what I do about love. That is ok. They also have to accept that their sex life is never going to be as good as it could as long as they refuse to be “bigger.”
That pill seems to cause some consternation. In short, if you are not willing to put in the work… You cannot have the prize.
Love never leaves and Love never dies.
Sure relationships end but what you shared together does not. (Memories, good times, stds or love…)
I know it feels like the world has ended when a mind-blowing relationship ends.
Why I didn’t show up at your christening… I was spending valuable time crying on the floor over a failed/ failing relationship.
Nobody understood and nobody could help me.
They had never experienced this themselves. I had no mentor or roadmap.
You have heard of these relationships… One partner dies or leaves and the other can’t bear to be without them.
Without their soul mate, their world is seemingly over.
I managed to “survive the fall” but I have never been the same since.
My great take-a-way…
If the best thing you’ve ever known in your life is gone…
Get up and make an even better relationship happen.
Crying about it will not make the situation better.
You take the best parts and bring them to a new relationship.
You learn from the parts that really sucked. Well, you learn that half of the problem was yours. You will need to critically look at what happened… Every link in the chain and how, when presented with a similar situation… YOU will behave differently to achieve a different outcome.
If you do this… I know firsthand that the next great relationship will be better than the one before it that you didn’t think you could survive without. The one that follows the second great relationship will be better than the first two.
Just throwing this out there… My best friend is my soul. My second best friend is my first true love. He made me be a better person.
The biggest goal of these letters is to help you be your own best friend.