Letter #2 Part 8

Letter #2 Part 8
Who NOT to pick…

I took the stance that it was acceptable to test the waters and have sex with people that I was interested in… but I changed the terms.

I decided the pool of available candidates should be culled from what was available to only what I found intriguing.

As a standard on my basic rules/hard limit list that has definitely kept me off the basic bitch list, I refused to have sex with men that I knew were married. Make this rule one of your core ground rules. It is a red line for me.

Why… For what it’s worth… I believe in love and marriage. I never want to be second best, The other woman, that thing on the side, where you go when you are not happy at home, alone during the holidays because he is with his family… you get the point.

Second fiddle is not cool and not where I ever want to be.

Be in relationships with healthy people who do not make you swim in their sewer.

Also… you may not believe in karma… but I have seen enough to know it is real. I would never want to be the one who had their soul mate stolen….

Which leads me to a whole “Ashley Madison” category… adults often act like children and when their children see their parent act this way… the kids think this behavior is acceptable.

If you are cheating… the person you share your roof with is NOT your soul mate.

The definition of a soul mate is one who completes you. You searching elsewhere to get “needs/wants fulfilled” is the antithesis of a complete relationship. Stop being weak.

To the parents… if you are not happy… get a divorce!

Get in healthy relationships. Show yourself and your kids what a healthy relationship is!

Staying together for money… a reason I have heard so many times it is ridiculously pathetic… just shows how miserable and shallow the two of you really are.

Not only would I hate to be your kid, being given those kinds of value systems, but whenever I met someone I liked who was married and willing to cheat… I knew for sure they would cheat on me sooner or later.

Why get in a relationship with that as what you see at the end of the tunnel? I’m worth more than that and Jamison… you are worth more than what a cheater has to offer, also.

I had a coach who once told me, “Second best is just first place for losers.”

That statement was not only appropriate for sports, it is apropos when it comes to great sex and relationships.

I never met that magical Disney Prince in the real world, so I learned how to make myself fabulous.

In an effort to help you avoid quick, boring or painful experiences while testing the sexual waters, avoid the mistakes that I made and learn how to click your own mouse.

Finding excitement on the road less travelled would put me on a path down a very deep and dark rabbit hole which I will talk about in a later letter.

But for now, just know the person responsible for your orgasm is you.

Let’s get to figuring out how to make yourself happy. You were born with body parts that you should know how to use.

I don’t think the learning your own body is a sin or dirty or any negative thing.

In fact, there are Zero references in the Bible saying masturbating is a sin.

The church made that up!!! Just like it made up indulgences… Making a payment to get into heaven.

There is no reference to mastubation as a sin in my Bible or Koran…both of which I have read cover to cover more than once. (Just for kicks… In the letters to the church at Corinth… It says there is only one winner in the race.)

(No matter how many times a lie is repeated… repeating a lie does not make it true!)

You learned how to use your ears to hear, your mouth to speak, your eyes to see, your feet to walk, your hands with which to grab.

Why not learn how to use all of you. I will support you in this decision from afar, if you want to find out what your Creator gave you as a gift… one that was meant to be used often and correctly.

Love you,
C. Change


Whew! Lots to think about. Thanks for not going to work and choosing to educate me instead. I'd like to support your continued writing efforts.



Letter #2 Part 6

Letter #2 Part 6
Some curses are blessings…

I had learned one of the most important lessons in life… The hard way! Nobody loves you like your mama does.

Given this scenario, I had many choices in front of me.

Instead of destroying other people’s lives with sexual diseases, lies and bs, I decided to start reinventing the person that mattered most, me.

Being and staying clean…
Bathing before and after sex became an integral part of my sex life.

Bathing before sex is important, not just you!

Bathing the other person is important because it gives you the opportunity to look at their sexual organs to see if there is an obvious disease that you might want to avoid.

It is ok to suddenly remember you need to be somewhere else or that you suddenly feel terribly ill and need to leave.

Bathing after sex is important because if you missed something, you now have the opportunity to use soap to cleanse yourself to keep from getting a disease.

This is not foolproof. Stuff may still happen to you. The good news is… Modern technology has cures for just about every STD.

Get over the fact that you got played. Stow your pride and get some antibiotics before you pass whatever it is on to someone else.

If you are going to play in the adult world, then expect a few knocks.

Continued in Letter #2 Part 7

Letter #2 Part 5

Letter #2 Part 5
Teenagers and Adults…

I figured if teenagers were no good at sex then… adults must be.

Why not… It seemed logical to me that an adult would have had more practice and thus better knowing.

Sadly, since current surveys report that roughly 90% of women have never had a real orgasm… My theory was incredibly flawed.

Some blessings are really curses in disguise…

I found myself in the bed of a 27 year old male stripper.

Oh, he had skills no teenager I knew had.

He also gave me a permanent reminder of our experience.

I wasn’t old enough to have a driver’s license but I had my first STD.

He was such a chivalrous individual that he did not tell me he had the disease nor did he respond when I told him what happened.

We never spoke again.

I thought my life was over… but in reality, it was just beginning.

Whether by ignorance or malice… I found that contracting sexual diseases were actually quite easy.

Sexual diseases affect the pretty, ugly, fat, skinny, old and young… Its seems diseases do not discriminate.

It is your job to discriminate… Be ruthless about protecting your body… Because nobody else will.

If I had just gotten up from the bed and taken a shower with soap and water, the diseases I did contract… would have gone down the drain and I would probably never have caught them.

Back then, I did not know that soap kills herpes, warts… Just about everything that is passed by skin contact.

It seems logical… Hospitals and nail salons are sterilized for a reason.

Continued in Letter #2 Part 6


I decided to publish these private letters to my estranged niece because I have no idea if her parents gave them to her. I want her to have the benefit of my knowledge. If she looks or behaves anything like I did when I was her age… somebody is going to use whatever tactics necessary to get their hand in her cookie jar.

Knowledge is more powerful than ignorance or peer pressure.

I came from an era where the best sexual advice for pre-teens and teenagers usually came in the form of one of the following statements:. Don’t do it. Abstain until marriage. Its supposed to hurt the first time. Just lay there and it will be over in a few minutes. If you do have sex… Use a condom. (Of course, the male is responsible for providing the condom.)

While honestly given… I found most of these statements to be lies, bs or utterly useless.
Sex education in school did NOT teach me about the birds and the bees. Sex ed taught me the names of my private parts but I had no idea how to operate them properly.

Left to my own devices to discover the adult world of sexual gratification… I made more than a few mistakes that intelligent people should generally avoid.

However, if you want to believe that good sex is one person laying there and the other one doing the work… please move on. I don’t want to shatter your low expectations.

As a woman, (born with those parts), If you’ve been led to believe that getting drunk and having sex won’t ruin a real female orgasm… it is time to quit drinking the kool-aid… unless you never want to know what is possible. You stay in la-la land. This blog is for someone who wants to learn what their body should be able to do.

When I talk with other females, every woman wants to say that have had an orgasm. At my age, I can then ask if their orgasm produces as much fluid as when their water broke when they had their kid.

The answer is always no. Then I begin to explain that their orgasm… the regular one they say they are having, should release as much fluid as the amount of fluid that came out when their water broke.

Suddenly, there is a mutual understanding. They have NOT been having the great orgasm that they thought they were having… Oops! Truth bomb.

Oh… yeah! These Letters are designed to uncover that which has been hidden. The truth you should have always been told. The things that make life better. Some truths are uncomfortable… because they expose the lies you’ve been fed.

Personally, it took me a lot of hard knocks to find out the information here in. In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and say the amount of mistakes involved to find the truth is probably why so few have this knowledge. I believe that human nature can either feed the jealous, cruel, evil wolf or the build-you-up and loving wolf. (One can’t have beautiful outcomes if they are ugly on the inside.)

I recognize that this information may help others even though it is specifically written for one person.
There is probative information herein I wish someone would have given me at the age of 12.
As often as I have seen commercials for Christmas sales, the goodies in these letters should have been repeatedly pounded into my brain.

To the parents of the world… if you really love your kids… like you say you do… give them better information about their future sex life than the crap you were fed.

To the 40 million teenagers in 2019… Don’t blame your parents if they have no idea what I’m expounding upon in these pages… they were fed a crock of lies and never went the distance to get better knowledge.

You are all lucky you landed here.
While you may look over the Table of Contents and see something that piques your interest more so than some of the other headings, I politely ask that you start at the beginning and do not skip around. The beginning is the first post. (By date.)

Each letter builds on a previous letter and jumping ahead without the prior knowledge may lead to a dangerously erroneous assumption.

Also, if you do not know a word… Get a thesaurus.
Ignorant is not a good way to go through life.

Finally, if you learned something that will help you… Consider donating one dollar to my literary efforts so I may be able to concentrate on the endeavor of assisting and empowering women across the globe instead of punching a 9-5 clock. Patreon.com/colechange

I would also ask that if you learned something you did not know… Please share the Letters to Jamison with at least two friends.
You never know… Something in here might help save their life or make their life a better one.
C. Change