Letter #3 Part 9

Caveat for toys… START SMALL!!!!!


Use glass not plastic! (Glass or other natural materials… stone, wood, metal… create better orgasms than Synthetics.)


Only use battery operated toys with a partner.


When you are solo… you need to teach your body how to operate itself… a bunch of vibration is not going to help.


Liberator (a sex toy company from which I do not receive financial compensation) makes great glass toys. They also sell wedges. (I will keep that in sex toys.) While their glass toys are second to none, I returned all the other items I ever ordered from them because the plasticizers in the synthetic fabrics gave me rashes.


I am a big fan of solid objects. Solid objects don’t bend so be careful and slow.


A female vagina is curved. A glass dildo is not.


Puncturing yourself is not an optimal strategy for enjoyment.


Solid objects will force you to gain muscle strength… this is a good thing.


After you have mastered holding your pee, in ten second intervals at will, use that same exercise with your finger inserted.


Use the finger to push against different directions inside you. Continue doing the kegel exercises while your index finger points north, then south, to the east and finally west.

If your internal muscles are strong enough when clenched to move your finger to center and hold it in place, completely compressed by the vaginal walls… then… you can move up to toys.


Until you develop the muscle strength to pull your own index finger in and push it out… Without the use of your hands… Go at a speed no faster than your heartbeat and a thrust strength no greater than two fingers’ strength.


The goal here is to teach your internal muscles to work for you.

If the hole only opens to accept something else that does the work… then just forget about achieving the almighty orgasm.


I will write you a separate series of letters explaining what exercises to do and how to pick a training toy for each of the g spots and types of orgasms you might want to learn how to create to teach your muscles how to achieve greatness.


Stick with a finger for now… you have lots of crawling to do before walking, running or doing flip-flops or cartwheels.


Love you,
C. Change


For my webby friends, likes and followers… Thank you! If you found this of value, please share with two friends and click the gift link below to support healthy education. It is very appreciated.
Continued in

Letter #4

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Meeting Playboy’s Hef

About Meeting Hef…
Jamison,
I know the information I’m presenting to you is a bit off most people’s radars. That’s ok with me.
As I was searching to find an outlet to syndicate these letters as a column so that your potential future partner might have some of the knowledge you have, I came across an interview with one of the many Playboy editors.


Citing the two most popular questions as: 1) have you been to the mansion and 2) did you meet Hef?
I can say when I answer both of those questions the answer is yes.

It’s a bit awkward for me to tell you this next part, seeing as how I rarely turn down an opportunity to have memorable sex, but when I was invited to the mansion, Hef walked over and introduced himself.


I am sure if there was a memorable part of this exchange for him, it was that I told him if we had sex it would probably kill him. I won’t disagree that the best way to die is probably having the best orgasm of your life.

However, at least in my mind, if I killed my dad’s top-pedestal idol from heart attack via orgasm, I would probably not still be alive to write you these letters.


Hef’s greatest heart desire was to have sex with the best lay on the planet. He knew who I was and what I am capable of. After our verbal exchange, I think he wished he was 30 years younger. At the time, I wished his immediate wish was one I could grant. He knew sex as mental, physical, emotional and spiritual… he had that beacon of light over top of him that only the illuminated ones can see.


Even though there were probably 200 other women in the area, all more than willing to do anything to gain his favor… after our exchange, he just walked off, alone.


My experiences creating the goodies in these letters may take you to places that none of your friends will ever go. These keys will allow access to the highest echelons. How you handle that journey is up to you. I just want you to have the information at your disposal.


When you arrive at a destination equivalent to the Playboy Mansion, be yourself. After you’ve looked at the art, go back towards the entrance, pass the tennis courts, wind your way through the Rose garden, stop and sniff the roses, marvel at the statues, go play pinball… the guest house is full of machines. Take the road less travelled.


If you want to meet a rock star… don’t be starry eyed. Be a Person who you would want to spend time with. Billionaires, movie stars, rock stars, actors, CEOs of Fortune 100 companies all put their pants on one leg at a time. If you want to be treated like an equal in these situations, you can’t act like a minion.


This same advice also works for that person you like and have your first crush on.


In a healthy relationship, you will attract what you are. You will both bring balance to the table. Neither would be more dominant than the other. Ideally, you will both have strengths to compliment each other’s weaknesses. Your talents different but complimentary.


You will both have dreams and goals that hopefully mesh. If those don’t… the relationship will last as long as it lasts and then it will be time to move on.


There are deal killers. You will have them and so will your partners. Decide if the deal killers are worth it to keep or if your deal killer can be put on hold or thrown out.


When you were too young to remember me, I gave you a series of blessings. One of them was, “Anticipate the needs of others and deliver them before the need is expressed. You will do this and only pick people who do this for you.”


It is easy to do this at the beginning of most relationships. It remains easy to do if you always check yourself at the door before walking in and imagine the person you are in the relationship with, is just another version of you. Think of it as always being in a relationship with yourself.

Regardless of what their name is or their outward appearance… That person is you.


When you have sex with someone… imagine you are having an out of body experience and your partner is you. It’s amazing what a difference that change in perception makes. Treat you well.


I recognize that this will make your pool of available candidates much smaller than the gross of available candidates but by the time you were born, I knew if your “initial filter” requirement ensured your partners would pay attention to you and address your needs… your starting block would be a few miles ahead of everyone else’s.


Might I suggest when you are dreaming up your future prince charming… start with beautiful on the inside then beautiful on the outside as the two primary, over-arching features.


Love you,
C. Change

Thanks for these life improving thoughts. I will share this with my friends. Here’s a gift for you, too.

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Letter #3 Part 7

A quickie is for a guy.

An all-nighter is for a girl.


Most guys who roll their eyes and say they have to get up early… are too lazy to please their partners.


Avoid those “gems.” All that says is that they want gratification but yours is not nearly as important.


Who wants to be in that kind of lopsided relationship?


Hold out for a good guy who can handle a few “sleepless nights” and this, in my opinion, is a workable deal.


So, your new beau does not have the stamina to keep up with your needs? Enter vibrators…


They don’t give you diseases. They don’t complain if you cheat.

They are terrible public dates. But lots of fun if you have to get hand checked by TSA at the airport… And you have one in your carry on luggage.


Lots of ways to deal with this.


Appropriately and ideally, your human choice of companion is just as turned on using himself or toys on you for foreplay.


He is engaged in the act of your satisfaction during the entire time… However long that takes.


An egg inside you that he controls during dinner and a movie so that after those, you are primed for enjoyment… is acceptable.


I will write to you about my favorite toys… I know you will like them, too.


Meanwhile you can search the internet to get started on the homework I’ve given you above.


For my webby friends, likes and followers… Thank you! If you found this of value, please share with two friends and click the gift link below to support healthy education. It is very appreciated.
Continued in

Letter #3 Part 9

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Letter #3 Part 6

Experts say that not all women have a g-spot.


Prima facie, this is true.


Because there is so much confusion surrounding this issue, I’m going to do my best to relate this information in a very non-technical way so everybody gets it.


For the mechanics in the room… a woman’s vagina is much like starting a diesel engine.

The glow plugs of a diesel motor have to get warmed up before the motor will crank.


The heater or electric current that heats the glow plugs is foreplay. You know your foreplay worked when you are both dripping wet.

The glow plugs are like the g-spot.


Once the glow plugs are operational, the heated diesel fuel can spark, the motor can crank and then you can step on the gas and get to the destination. Got it? Good!


So, how does one create a g-spot?


A g-spot is an area that has been rubbed so often on a regular basis that it is more sensitive than the areas around it.


Not unlike a blister, but far less painful, and actually quite fun, the sensitive area fills with fluid.


Essentially, you create your own internal pleasure centers.


You may also create as many as you want.


You can put them where you want.


(Just like a guy can create a bend to the left… you may create an internal g-spot anywhere you want it.)


For example…
If your partner has a 2″ penis… And assuming you have sex regularly (3 times a week), chances are that your g-spot will be right inside the inner labia.


If the partner has a 6″ penis and you only do it doggie style, your g-spot will be on either the anterior or posterior side of the vaginal wall about 3″ inside you. Anterior or posterior will be determined by how much you arch your back.


If your partner is 10″, expect your happy place to reside right below the uterine opening.


If your partner rubs your clit with every stroke… Then this will become the most active region.


Over time, you can use your hand, toys, blue jeans or acceptable humans to create new pleasure centers and make them accessible at will.


Different partners of different bend angles and sizes will create different happy spot locations.


The one big thing I learned was that it takes rubbing… not vibrating to make a g-spot.


Once you’ve made the spot, you can vibrate it… but I was never able to create one by vibration… and trust me… I tried.


Most females stop at zero or one, maybe two happy spots.


If you decide…later in life… to go the route of multiple partners at the same time in separate holes or multiple partners at the same time in the same hole… Having multiple g-spots will prove incredibly advantageous for multiple orgasms.


The graffenburg spot is small at first but as the area is rubbed, swelling occurs.


Even with everyday use, I find it may take up to an hour for my g-spot area to go from flat dime to peanut size to the size of a hard boiled egg.


For me, it takes about an hour to get my happy spots out of bed and ready to work for my enjoyment.


Once mine get big, it takes a long time for the swelling to go down.

As long as these spots are swollen… it is super easy to orgasm. Ridiculously easy to orgasm.

Multiple orgasms can mean about a hundred or more… not 3. (Nobody does 1,000 push ups on day one and nobody has 100 orgasms on their first successful attempt at having multiple orgasms.)


Once swollen, any happy spot is super easy to see on camera.


When I’m not turned on… A camera inside me reveals absolutely NOTHING! I look flat like everyone else.


And this is why the medical professionals cannot seem to agree on where the happy spot is or why some people have them when others don’t or even how many spots one can have or what they should be called: g-spot, m-spot, s-spot… but You know what’s what.


Teenagers reading this… Learn these exercises but Don’t try to tell this to an adult or OBGYN as they have been preconditioned by society to believe: teens don’t have sex before marriage, virgins will magically figure this out, none of this is possible or that the studies conducted by Masters and Johnson in the 1960s are the definitive work to explain orgasms for all humanity. (If any of that arcane bullshit was true… I would not be putting this on the internet… because we would still be writing on loose-leaf paper with lead pencils.)


If most females need a good hour of palpitation in order for the happy spot to want to join the fun, but sex with their partner lasts less than ten minutes… I don’t think many women have ever known what is possible.


For my webby friends, likes and followers… Thank you! If you found this of value, please share with two friends. If this is “good stuff” and you want more, please click the gift link below to support healthy education. It is very appreciated.
Continued in

Letter #3 Part 7

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Letter #3 Part 5

All sex organs are muscles.

Your brain (all 3 of them), your heart, your mouth, your vagina, etc… These are muscles. Use them.

If you never teach the muscle to be used… How can it perform?


A guy who hasn’t had sex in five years is probably going to have some trouble getting it up.

When muscles are not used, they atrophy. Viagara anyone?


Babies, at birth, can’t walk or hold their heads up.

The muscles are there but they have never been used.

Watch babies learn to walk.

It is a time consuming process that does not happen at the speed of the refresh rate on your cell phone.


Teenagers can’t orgasm until puberty.


Even then, one needs to develop the muscles to have the skills to provide benefits.


Think of it this way… You can ski the bunny slopes or you can be an X-Games gold medalist.


Sex is the same.


How well do you want to perform?


How much time are you willing to devote to your performance ability?


Let’s talk about how to create your first g-spot so you will have some tools to play with.


For my webby friends, likes and followers… Thank you! If you found this of value, please share with two friends and click the link below to support healthy education. It is very appreciated.
Continued in

Letter #3 Part 6
Experts say that not all women have a g-spot.

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Letter # 101 Am I in a healthy relationship?


Do you know how to tell when you are not with the right person?
I will cut to the chase and answer this one for you.


A relationship is OVER the first time you look at someone else and wonder what it would be like to be with that other person instead of the one you are with.


Something about your current relationship is not meeting all of your needs.


Modern society has all sorts of excuses for why you stay where you are and deal with the problem and in so doing you end up violating another major boundary… being honest with yourself.


The popular excuse is “I love this person so I’m going to work it out.”

This may stem from the concept that a divorce was almost impossible to obtain prior to the mid 1960s… It wasn’t socially acceptable until around 1980…


Riiiiight. Sure you love your partner. You love them like I love chocolate.


There are 8 different words to describe 8 different types of love in the Bible.


Unless you had that “hit-in-the-head-with-a-baseball-bat” type of love I discussed earlier… (2) things: (1) then the titillating feeling of finding a different partner is your inner knowing that the person you are with …isn’t the best match and (2) when you are really in love, the way it is meant to be, you don’t notice anyone but your partner.


People get into wrong relationships all the time and spend the rest of their life trying to make it work.


Who are they trying to please? It’s obviously not the unhappy person in the mirror.


Even a monkey in a laboratory quits trying to put a square peg in a round hole after a certain number of tries. It’s the job of the scientists behind the mirror evaluating the monkey to keep track of the number of tries attempted before the monkey realizes effort after foolishness does not pay off.


I do think some monkeys are smarter than people in certain situations.
Take a gander at the bonobo monkey tribe. A matriarch dominant society that settles their differences using sex. It works, too.


What I want you to realize is that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life.


Responsibility


Technically the word means the ability to respond in a given situation.


I’ve noticed most people think they are responsible.


Even those adult individuals who have sex with toddlers, people who knowingly transmit deadly diseases, the banker who forecloses a house and kicks a family out on the street on Christmas Eve because they are late on the payment, the reporter who refused to do due diligence and parrots a lie, just a few examples of a terribly long list that includes you and me because even we Think we are responsible. Welcome to life… we all fall short of being responsible at some point.


I’m going to circle back to boundaries and communication.
Without appropriate boundaries and communication skills to enforce those boundaries, we end up in less than stellar situations.


Often, we don’t even realize when our own behavior crosses one of our own espoused boundaries.


A perfect example.


The example of that guy ran a red light and hit me… you didn’t have to be in that place at that time.


You could have been somewhere else. I promise you that the small voice inside told you ahead of time to be aware of your surroundings.

Why weren’t you listening? Was the radio more important?

Did your thoughts taking you out of here and now get in the way of being present? Was there some drama from another experience playing in your head that kept you from listening to yourself?


It really doesn’t matter what the subject matter noun is… this is one of the critical life lessons every person needs to accept, understand and thus… be responsible.


There is no such thing as a no fault accident in life.

If you are not present, you are 100% at fault. If you are present you bear half the responsibility for not getting out of the way.

You bear 100% of the responsibility for not taking action to create the solution appropriate for your needs.

This requires communication skills. With yourself! … and with everyone else involved!


Adopt this now and your entire life will be better for it.

Fail to recognize this as a basic premise for life and you will just keep giving away your power. You will keep living in co-dependent relationship disasters and wondering where and when it “all went wrong” while you erroneously look for something or someone else to blame.

Go look in the mirror. Fix that!

You can only attract that which you are.


Healthy people have healthy relationships.
Unhealthy people have unhealthy relationships.


Guess what… healthy people don’t get into relationships with unhealthy people. They stick with their own kind.


To have a healthy relationship, YOU must get healthy first!


If you can’t stand someone else’s bad behavior look and see what commensurate same rotten behavior you have.


Ok, your partner is a drunk and you are not. You are a nagging bitch. Quit pointing fingers. The problem is the same.

The outward problem appears different but the underlying cause is the exact same. You are both morbidly unhappy. The final outcome is the same.

Neither party wants to be around the other one when their inability to cope with the underlying issue results in ugly behavior.

You both have a behavior that needs less positive reinforcement and a life that needs a new skill set.


Circle back to boundaries and communication.


Life is about boundaries and communication.


Master these two items and life will be much more enjoyable.

Letter #3 Part 4

About lubes…

Since I’m here on the subject… Use ORGANIC olive oil or coconut oil. If you can’t eat it or it is made of a synthetic… Do NOT allow it inside of you!!!


No KY lube, crisco, canola oil, petroleum based lubes, vaseline nor water based sex toy lubes.

These are not going to mesh well with your vagina.


In some cases they will cause you yeast infections or urinary tract infections.

Sex unbalances the pH and flora of the vagina.


Lubes, other than what your body produces, get things out of balance much faster.


Canola (rape seed) oil is industrial engine de-greaser.


Just because it is sold in grocery stores does not make it safe for sex.


You only need a dime sized amount of organic coconut or olive oil for hours of sexual intercourse. I am highly sensitive and these two things are the best I ever used. (I’ve tried everything.)


I will cover “food sex” later… It is its own Bible.


I don’t really care what the medical community has “sold” to people about needing additional lubrication. It’s junk. It’s a business… a hugely profitable business.


Our ancestors knew that an unused vagina or an unused penis would lose elasticity. It would have a dysfunction.


Historically, the solution was to continue to use the muscles.

Orgasm was the prescription for most preventable emotional issues. No joke.


But something changed.

What is more profitable as a cure for a lonely housewife in the 1950s… Valium coupled with alcoholism and doctor visits or great sexy time in the privacy of the ubiquitous American dream home???


So what if you went through menopause and your hormones changed. Your body, when relaxed, will lubricate itself until death.

Ask a 90 year old. After they finish laughing, if they can remember what the question was, they will probably tell you everything down there still works.


In fact, having sex with yourself or a partner or partners on a regular basis has been scientifically proven to have beneficial health properties.

Orgasms release/relieve stress, release chemicals which lubricate joints, release chemicals in the brain which help it operate better and a host of benefits including cramp reduction during periods and reducing migraines.


Maybe we could quit killing marine life to make arthritis and join pain reliever and start having better sex instead? I think the fish would appreciate it and so will your partner.

I don’t know about you but I’d rather have an orgasm with 100% effective results than a bunch of expensive pills with questionable results made from animal parts that couldn’t be part of dinner.


One published study showed migraine headaches are a result of not having enough sexual release.


Speaking as someone who has only had the onset of two migraine headaches in my life… both happened when I was separate from my partner for more than a week. I immediately found a solution attached to the palm of my hand.


Prior to the 1900s one didn’t have a headache to get out of having sex, they had sex to get rid of the headache. (Our culture is so screwed up.)


For my webby friends, likes and followers… Thank you! If you found this of value, please share with two friends. Feel free to click the gift link below to support healthy education. It is very appreciated.
Continued in

Letter #3 Part 5
All sex organs are muscles.

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